Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Blog, we need to talk.

Hello there Blog.

 Yes, I thought I might find you here. Yeah, I know. It's been a long time. I'm not surprised you weren't expecting me. There's something we need to talk about. I know, I should wait until I can talk to you in private, but I feel it is of an urgent matter. I don't blame you for being upset. You've been severely neglected. I didn't mean to leave you there, alone, in that place where all forgotten Blogs gather together to collect dust and lament over what could have been posted, had their makers not walked lazily and selfishly away. Really, I'm sorry. I never intended to desert you like that. Honestly, I thought you and I could be great together. I thought we had so much in common. You, a silent and constant listener and me, a loud, constant blabber... really, I thought we were perfect. But now the brilliant and hopeful potential we had seems to just mock the slow, dwindling pain of our demise, as potential often does. I need to be honest with you before it's ultimately too late for reconciliation.What it came down to was as simple as this;

Blog, you are the essence of dullness. I can't even read you without nearly succuming to a sleep coma. It's unhealthy really.

I can't stand how you just sit there, without meaning or purpose. I don't mean to be rude, perhaps I am out of place to say this, but it seems you have a vacant soul. This is a very bad thing to have, sometimes even incurable. I know, I know. I'm probably partially to blame for all this. Althought I wish I could wash my hands of guilt, technically it was I who created you and fed you every single word you ever relayed, but still, something has to change. You're just terrible, really.
I know I make so many mistakes. Don't think you're the first one to call me out on that one. I know I really need to work on my communication skills. It was awful of me to eat ice cream in front of the Eifel Tower and not even mention it to you. It was so inconsiterate of me. Heartless really. There is so much I haven't told you about. From speedo girded fat men to being stranded at sea with a windsurfing board, menstrual cramps and a headwind. So much has happened. You missed the Sleeping in castles, angry train ticket men, beautiful poppie fields, one legged Pigeons, black berries, strange hostel mates, stranger food, breaking more bumpers (3rd one this year- Im afraid it's become somewhat of a trend), 3??? hotels(not to be confused with 3*** hotels), family visits, herbal tea, Irish grandpas, Polish pigeons, road trips, bad jokes, bad habbits, good friends,  Nazi hand granades, missed planes, last minute luck, the bar fight I should have got in, some great bike rides and runs, my fly garden, beautiful sunsets and the Love of my life. Really, you've missed a lot. I'm afraid something needs to change. Let's make a deal. I'll try to communicate with you more often, if you'll try not to be so terribly lame and dreary. Deal? I think I might even throw in some pictures. I've never expected you to be wonderfully whitty or helpful to the world like many other blogs. I never asked you to explain how to fold napkins or how to make all the lovely, little, frilly, lovely things that are out there, but can we please just be a little bit more fun?

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